Tag Archive | woman

Flying Vitamins??!!

Jul15

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I ducked as the amber medicine bottle whizzed past my head with such force the sound came after it had passed, like a jet fighter plane. I heard it find its unintended target as it shattered against the wall and vitamins scattered everywhere as if they were being shot out of the wall. OMG!! What if I didn’t duck!! He threw that right AT me! Wait….did that just happen? I stood numb….still…..dumb….in shock with a glimmer of hope that this was a bad dream that I would wake from.  As I started thawing from the numbness, fear, shock and adrenaline all brewed together into a brew of deep dark anger….did that mutha just throw my prenatal vitamins at me?  The question now becomes a bold declaration…I KNOW that mutha#$%&%^*  didn’t just throw ANYTHING at me.  One of us isn’t getting out of here Ta-DAY!

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Communion Cup Confusion

Jul12

Preeeee-shusssss Lawd….take myyyyyy hannnnnd….leeeeead me onnnnn….let me stah-ha-hand….

The church drags on in unison as I peer out into the congregation from under the wide brim of my first-lady-has-to-be-big hat. My mind is racing like a paragraph with poor punctuation…. Is anyone really aware of the words that we are singing? Wait….is the usher chewing gum? I wish someone would pick that bible up off of the floor…why is my son under the pew….I sure hope I made enough copies of the flyer for next week, did we wish Sister Jenkins a Happy Birthday, she will certainly blame me if it’s not mentioned on the mike.

Whew I am sooo tired and it’s hot in here come on air conditioner get cold, thank God I was able to pay the electric bill yesterday ( had to pull over off of the highway to do it on the side of the road). Umphhh would we have issues today if the lights were off!!…huh? I just heard my name, my thoughts are interrupted as I hear the pastor announcing that I was working on some event flyer for something that I knew nothing about….pause….paste a smile on your face and nod your big hat in agreement (these are the instructions I give myself in my head)…*Sigh* Something else to do….Jesus it never ends!

Look at this mess going on in God’s house, communion Sunday and no supplies. Last month the ushers knew that allcommunioncups the cups were used, so wait until this Sunday to mention it.  These people wouldn’t pee on me if I was on fire but always have a big old smile for ‘paaaaassssstor’.  Look at him acting like it’s OK that we don’t have these supplies….all full of grace and asking ever so sweetly that they make sure that the communion supplies are here next week.  Ain’t this some mess? I dare not say anything about communion Sunday and no cups because then I get told how I have to have grace and mercy. Next will come the grumblings from a handful of members that sing the same old ‘she tries to take over everything’ song. Oh yeah….she being she-me-her. Pul-eeze! I don’t have enough to do with a full time job, children, a non-profit, church business, ministry work aaannndd a home to take care of.  I can’t address it, but I sure will be the one at the church supply store getting them dang cups just in case…..

So I know you are wondering what happened. Yup, while taking care of my family, working a full time job, working in ministry with my own calling and burdens, spending time with my children, grocery shopping…I stopped, just in case, at the church supply store. Sunday morning, the usher didn’t come to church AT ALL. No communion cups, no phone call….nothing. Hmph, Pastor Grace and Mercy would have been really looking dumb after announcing last Sunday that THIS Sunday we will have communion –  had ‘she’ (she being she-me-her) not gone to the store pulled three wrinkled dollars outta my purse and bought those stupid cups.

No one in the congregation knew the details, nor do I think they cared about the communion supplies, how they got there or who paid for them. But from under my brim as I peered out into the congregation, I could see that everyone was at ease because order was restored for (especially for those who need that scheduled communion on 1st Sunday).  I chastise myself, remember that I didn’t do anything without the awesome help of God and the sacrifice for MY sin was far greater than buying some plastic cups.

The point is that very few understands the responsibilities, the inner conflicts, the unwarranted judgement and hard work that comes with the “First Lady” title. As you pray for your pastor lift her up too. Take a moment and view the church as she sees it while peering out from Under her Brim.

GFQ: Would You Marry YOU?

May1

As I drive along listening to the radio, the announcer shares her experience at a couples bride_mirrorretreat and then poses the question….Would YOU marry YOU?

Whether you are single, divorced, engaged or “it’s complicated” (thanks Facebook for a new ambiguous title to add to the relationship confusion) – the question itself is an excellent one for your personal assessment of YOU. Truth is, until you are comfortable with YOU and enjoy YOU….marriage should be the last thing on your mind. Continue reading →

Be a Compliment Not a Complication

Feb17

shutterstock_108457547-350x233Listening  to the radio in my car I heard Steve Harvey share the best quote. Ok, well one of the best (you know me…tomorrow may be a better one that will be the best). He shared from another listener “Be a compliment not a complication. Surround yourself with people who will compliment your life, not complicate it.”  That made me think…..in my relationships under the brims of the many hats that I wear as a mother, sister, girlfriend, cousin, daughter, friend, co-worker (to name a few) which column would I be put in — a compliment or a complication?  What do I bring to the table to compliment these relationships or are my intelligence, outgoing personality, charm & wit really complicating shenanigans?

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What is Your Highway Story?

Feb10

Congestion……. another word for my commute along with the words long, frustrating and tedious.

grandma-signal-memePair the stop and go tedium of my commute with a very active imagination and you will find me peering over the dashboard giving every car a story. It’s my harmless way of entertaining myself to keep from intentionally crashing into the slow-for-no-reason town car in front of me. Here’s how it works, I look at a car that I’m inching through traffic with and create a story for the driver based on my observations. I call it Highway Story. Today we met Gwen….she is driving a ridiculously shiny (considering all of the salt and brine on the roads and every other car) black high-end SUV with her sunglasses propped up in her beautiful hair. Continue reading →

Sold out for a First Lady Hat and Parking Space

Sep22

People that know me will be nodding their heads to what I am about to say – in the past I was NOT a fan of Iyanla Vanzant. There…. I said it out-loud. Nope, I did not like the award 20130216193114!Iyanla,_Fix_My_Life_Title_Cardwinning, Oprah validated, Sistah Friend, Yesterday I Cried, In the Valley author.  I can almost hear you saying – “WHAT? Iyanla is awesome, Diva you are out of touch….not like Iyanla….there is something really wrong with you…! Where is the sisterly love and support in that?” My feelings were based on her philosophy of the Universe and not God formulated my opinion of her. It was that simple. Judge if you want, my thoughts, my views, my opinion. Daddy used to say they (opinions) are like bellybuttons (he used a different anatomic part but I’m going to keep it clean) everybody has one.

However, as ‘life’ happened to Iyanla – I’ve seen a change, I hear her acknowledging God, I see a more genuine spirit of love in her and as a ‘fruit inspector’ I am seeing more in her fruit than in her eloquence of speech and her signature endearing term that she calls everyone  – Beloved.

Now with that out of the way, let’s move on to what is under this former First Lady Brim.  1In an episode of “Iyanla: Fix My Life,” Iyanla travels to Louisiana to help a couple in crisis. The husband, a pastor, admits to cheating on his wife with about 20 women over the course of his 10-year marriage. Many of his mistresses are members of his congregation… and one of these women gave birth to his child. His wife, Natashia, wrote to Iyanla asking for help in deciding whether to stay or to go. Continue reading →

Do You Feel Guilty as a Working Mom? Scripture provides encouragement as you work and raise a family

Sep11

Do You Feel Guilty as a Working Mom?

 Source: Blog | American Bible Society News
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My alarm rings and I get out of bed, grab both kids and head downstairs for breakfast (juice and a cereal bar for myself). After I feed the kids, I turn the TV on, hoping 20 minutes of cartoons will give me enough time to shower and get dressed.

working-motherIt doesn’t. I have to mediate an argument between my 3-year-old son and my 13-month-old daughter, get them dressed, in the car, (big sigh!) and off to school. Both kids settle in their classrooms, and I even manage to bring the diapers, wipes and sunscreen permission slip!

Now off to work. I arrive at my cubicle in time to send out an email with the agenda and PowerPoint presentation for tomorrow’s meeting. And it’s only 9:47 am!

If this sounds like a typical morning to you, then you probably have the dual responsibility of maintaining a busy career while raising children. Yes, you’re a working mom.

And for whatever reason–whether you need the income or you love what you do—raising a family and having a career is not easy. On any given day, you may feel frustrated, exhausted, stressed.

One emotion I feel is GUILT.

Even after months of doing the get-the-kids-off-to-school-then-go-to-work routine, I continually question myself: Am I making the right choice? Will my kids be OK? Am I spending too much time away from them? Will they recognize me when I pick them up?

After several melt downs and many tears in the ladies’ room, I turn to the Bible. The words of Isaiah 40:11 strike me: “He carries the lambs in his arms while gently leading the mother sheep.”Whoa! This is the comfort I need–to know that he, the Great I Am, leads me today and every day. As I consider this verse, other thoughts come to mind:

He loves me.
He loves my children.
He’s helping me.
He’s guiding our futures.
He’s GENTLE with me as I work my way through this phase of life.

So whenever you’re feeling guilty about working, remember this: You may never master the art of balancing career while raising children, but you have a God who fills in the gaps. He will hold your hand and gently lead you through each day.

As for your children, commit them into his hands, open the Bible and claim these promises:

  1. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
    Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
  2.   “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.”
    John: 10:27-28 (NIV)
  3. “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved – you and your household.”
    Acts 16:31 (NIV)
  4. “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.”
    Isaiah 54:13 (NIV)
NenaPodburyNena Podbury is a project associate at American Bible Society. Originally from the Bronx, she served in children’s ministry for 12 years doing Sidewalk Sunday School. She has co-authored children’s curriculum called “Transformation Station” and is a contributing author to Reach Up Magazine which seeks to empower and enrich today’s inner city woman. Nena is married with two children, Noah and Emilia.

The Tennis Match Under my Brim

Sep11

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…….There’s a storm out…..over the ocean….and it’s mooooovvvvvvinnng thisa way………if your souls not ankered in Jeee-suss, you will shorrrl-eeeee, drift aaaaa-waaaaaayyy.

That is what was being sang….but what I heard were nails screeching down a chalkboard. I mentally smacked my lips, there is always that one who wants to make a Luther ooooh-hoooo-hooooohhhh sound messing up the whole song. As soon as I thought it, I could feel my lips turn into a thin straight line with a ) on the end of it. Without saying a word, I heard the look on my friend’s face (let’s call her Helene). It was saying girl….get that stank look off of your face, the whole church can see you. 

My brain went back and forth in a conversation within my own thoughts as if in a tennis match…the spiritual man jumped in…my focus is supposed to be on God, not on the LutherWannaBe or Fake Patti LaBelle. Jesus, help me to focus on you. Serve – My flesh fought it (right in the pulpit!) yeah, it would be a lot easier to focus on God if this foolishness wasn’t flouncing around in front of you. The spiritual side returned the thought over the net with power…Jesus said if I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me. Where does it say anything about the people? Nothing so ignore them and shift your focus.

While this tennis match is going on in my head….my facial expression CANNOT change. If a fly lands on my nose, I cannot flinch. I can’t blink and have to constantly tell all of the players in the tennis match not to mess with the face so that it could keep one look on it and not distract anyone in the congregation. With all that going on in your head, how in the heck are you supposed to receive a word?

Not to mention that it is most certainly a skill and Lord knows not my gift.  Anyone who knew me well could read me with a glance. It was nothing for me to rebuke my kids with an eyebrow lift while walking to the microphone, turning to Proverbs to read the scripture lesson. Unfortunately, those who don’t know you and have decided that they don’t like you will read all kinds of craziness into you just using a tissue to wipe your eye. So you quickly learn as a First Lady, that you are expected to glue a smile on your face and nod in agreement like a bobble-head doll on the dashboard of a Jeep bouncing through the mountains. Whatever is going on in your head, you need to learn how to keep that under your brim.