Sometimes you have to just suck it up… and this was one of those ti
mes. Midnight snacking in the kitchen I swore a shadow moved under the radiator. Nahh…I poo-pooed it away. To cast out all doubt the mysterious shadow was boldly sashaying across the front of my fireplace a day later. Yup, it was a &*^#% mouse. Those of you who follow UHB know the water bug incident. If not, go check that out. Continue reading
Tag Archive | mother
4 Verses for Overcoming a Challenging Childhood
My childhood was challenging. I grew up in a tough area in the Bronx where survival was more important than education. Running home from school to avoid fights and gunshots was normal. Then, already in a small apartment, my cousins came to live with us after my uncle, a drug dealer was murdered and my aunt was sent to a recovery program for help with her addiction to crack cocaine. Add-in my ailing grandmother who was struggling with Alzheimer’s and it made for some tough times. But the toughest part by far was when my father left us just shy of my sixteenth birthday.
Often times I felt life wasn’t fair. I didn’t choose these circumstances, I was thrust in to 
them. And as I grew older these tough childhood experiences created feelings of inadequacy as I thought people would judge me because of where I was from or my broken family. But my childhood experiences could not limit God. God had a plan for my life. He would use me anyway despite where I come from and what shortcomings I had.
Maybe you’ve had a challenging childhood and question God’s purpose for your life. You wonder why you’ve been dealt such a tough hand. You may even feel angry that you have not had some of the same opportunities others have had. Do not let your experiences limit what God can do! God has a plan for you. Despite whatever difficulties you have faced in your childhood – rejection, abandonment, loneliness, abuse, sickness – God has a great plan for you too! A plan to make you great. Adapt a new way of thinking about your future by meditating on these 4 verses:
- God has made us what we are, and in our union with Christ Jesus he has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do. – Ephesians 2:10 (GNT)
- O Lord, you protect and save me; your care has made me great. – Psalm 18:35 (GNT)
- Every child of God can defeat the world, and our faith is what gives us this victory. – 1 John 5:4 (CEV)
- The thief comes only in order to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life – life in all its fullness. – John 10:10 (GNT)
Nena Podbury is a project associate at American Bible Society. Originally from the Bronx, she has co-authored children’s curriculum and served in children’s ministry for 12 years doing Sidewalk Sunday School. Nena is married with two children, Noah and Emilia.
How Can You Love Hard-To-Love Family Members?
Not a week that goes by that I don’t remind my son to be kind to his sister and play with her. When he looks at her, he sees an annoying two-year-old girl who steals his toys and 
ruins all his fun. For him, she is simply too hard to love. While few of us can relate to the irritation of dealing with a two-year-old sister, many of us can relate to the experience of living with a difficult family member. Continue reading
Forgiveness is not a Fluffy Cloud
There was a time that I thought some things were absolutely unforgivable. There was an imaginary scale in my head that weighed the offense and eked out the level of forgiveness 
that it was worthy of. I justified my right to own the hatred that I felt for my abusive ex-boyfriend. He had taken enough so I was not willing to give him any more of me, including my forgiveness. My angry mind rationalized that forgiveness would send a message that his actions were OK, even when my reality mind knows that notion isn’t true.
What I have come to grips with is that forgiveness is not an endorsement nor is it a hug wrapped in rainbows, fluffy clouds and harp music. Forgiveness is not a warm fuzzy feeling that puts you in the mindset of running through a field of flowers, smiling with the sun beaming as if you were singing about the hills being alive in the Sound of Music. In spite of how it feels, forgiveness is a choice.
I have heard it said that forgiveness is setting someone free and freedom is not what I wanted for this person. The truth of the matter is that the real prisoner was me. I was holding myself captive. I stayed bound in my anger where I was insulated from being in any situation where I could be hurt in anyway. I’ve become 
hypersensitive, acutely aware and ready to protect my children and me from the slightest external infraction. When looking at life through the lens of this seething anger, you see threats everywhere. A person in a store line accidentally stepping on my daughters foot required quick action to protect her when it was just an accident.
For years I was full of hatred and rage for not only my abuser but also memories of my mothers. I vowed to break the cycle and never have my children, sisters or brothers, nieces or nephews be victims of abuse. Un-forgiveness held me prisoner. The person that I have wished a house to fall on kept on living his life, unaware and probably apathetic to the depth of my hurt, anger and bitterness. To truly be an example, I’ve learned that I need to follow the ultimate example. God himself asks us to forgive those who have wronged us. (Colossians 3:13) Nowhere did I read it was an easy thing to do. As I’ve 
committed to the hard work of forgiveness, releasing my abuser and the dark, ugly pit of anger has made room for the beautiful things like joy, peace, love and gratitude. While forgiveness isn’t always easy it is worth the effort as I reclaim my freedom Under my Tattered Brim.
I’ll be My Own Number One
There are days when you wake up and have to be like David and encourage yourself. Not
because you don’t have an awesome other half that listens to you whine, encourages and holds you up when you are feeling down and deflated. No matter how you try to shake it you see evidence of the irritation(s) everywhere you look. Each sign making the tear in the irk fabric larger and larger until its a deep, dark, empty hole. Continue reading
I Speak A New Language – porque soy más del 40!!
I work for an organization where some of my colleagues speak many languages. It is an enviable ability that has had me wish I really paid attention when Senior Fazinni was teaching my Spanish class, at least to recall more than a few phrases. The one that I still remember and used most – ¿puedo ir al baño so I could find a study hall to socialize in. I’m ashamed but confession is good for the soul. Hola NAHS clase de 89!! Continue reading
Time to be Selfish
Yes…this is how it feels….
It was the coldest day of the year…maybe not according to the meteorologists but it sure felt like it. The wind’s icy grip snatched tears out of my eyes. My dried lips felt like sandpaper as they pressed together tightly in an Continue reading
Flying Vitamins??!!
I ducked as the amber medicine bottle whizzed past my head with such force the sound came after it had passed, like a jet fighter plane. I heard it find its unintended target as it shattered against the wall and vitamins scattered everywhere as if they were being shot out of the wall. OMG!! What if I didn’t duck!! He threw that right AT me! Wait….did that just happen? I stood numb….still…..dumb….in shock with a glimmer of hope that this was a bad dream that I would wake from. As I started thawing from the numbness, fear, shock and adrenaline all brewed together into a brew of deep dark anger….did that mutha just throw my prenatal vitamins at me? The question now becomes a bold declaration…I KNOW that mutha#$%&%^* didn’t just throw ANYTHING at me. One of us isn’t getting out of here Ta-DAY!
What about the Children??
Last night I had the pleasure of attending a film screening of #PIFVA (Philadelphia Independent Film & Video Association)members. The works presented were thought provoking, entertaining and challenged my conventional thinking on a subject I thought I knew so well. I am not a movie critic so I won’t blab on telling you about each one. Know that they were all awesome (especially the one with my talented cousin – ok, I’m biased!!) but I encourage you to check out PIFVA to see when the next one is or what they are about. 
Anywwwhoooo – there was one film that made me think about how society has a knee-jerk reaction of instant images of a battered woman when hearing the term domestic violence. Campaigns are headed up by major corporations, the marketing team coins a catchy slogan….but what about the children? What about the child cowering in the closet watching his/her mother being punched in the face by their father? The siblings that cling to one another in fear when awoken from their sleep by the screams of their mother? What are they learning about love, conflict, communication, boundaries, esteem and relationships? Domestic Violence is ugly. The ripple effects impact many and the scars are deep for the adults and for the children. I think to my own childhood and the horrific things that I witnessed and wish that there was someone speaking for me as I look at the world from Under my Tattered Brim!
Happy Mother’s Day
To all the Mothers –
Under Her Brim wish you the best on this day of honor for your unsung heroism, love, wisdom, guidance, selflessness and sacrifice. We tilt our hat in your honor from Under Our Brim!
Under Her Brim 
