…….There’s a storm out…..over the ocean….and it’s mooooovvvvvvinnng thisa way………if your souls not ankered in Jeee-suss, you will shorrrl-eeeee, drift aaaaa-waaaaaayyy.

That is what was being sang….but what I heard were nails screeching down a chalkboard. I mentally smacked my lips, there is always that one who wants to make a Luther ooooh-hoooo-hooooohhhh sound messing up the whole song. As soon as I thought it, I could feel my lips turn into a thin straight line with a ) on the end of it. Without saying a word, I heard the look on my friend’s face (let’s call her Helene). It was saying girl….get that stank look off of your face, the whole church can see you. 

My brain went back and forth in a conversation within my own thoughts as if in a tennis match…the spiritual man jumped in…my focus is supposed to be on God, not on the LutherWannaBe or Fake Patti LaBelle. Jesus, help me to focus on you. Serve – My flesh fought it (right in the pulpit!) yeah, it would be a lot easier to focus on God if this foolishness wasn’t flouncing around in front of you. The spiritual side returned the thought over the net with power…Jesus said if I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me. Where does it say anything about the people? Nothing so ignore them and shift your focus.

While this tennis match is going on in my head….my facial expression CANNOT change. If a fly lands on my nose, I cannot flinch. I can’t blink and have to constantly tell all of the players in the tennis match not to mess with the face so that it could keep one look on it and not distract anyone in the congregation. With all that going on in your head, how in the heck are you supposed to receive a word?

Not to mention that it is most certainly a skill and Lord knows not my gift.  Anyone who knew me well could read me with a glance. It was nothing for me to rebuke my kids with an eyebrow lift while walking to the microphone, turning to Proverbs to read the scripture lesson. Unfortunately, those who don’t know you and have decided that they don’t like you will read all kinds of craziness into you just using a tissue to wipe your eye. So you quickly learn as a First Lady, that you are expected to glue a smile on your face and nod in agreement like a bobble-head doll on the dashboard of a Jeep bouncing through the mountains. Whatever is going on in your head, you need to learn how to keep that under your brim.