Tag Archive | women

But She hit Her….YES it’s Domestic Violence!

But She hit Her….YES people, its Still Domestic Violence!

There’s sad news out of Arizona, where WNBA players Brittney Griner and her fiancée, Glory Johnson, were arrested. Late Wednesday afternoon, law enforcement authorities were apparently called to a home in a Phoenix suburb. According

Brittney Griner (right) with her fiancée, Glory Johnson. (Photo: Brittney Griner/Instagram)

Brittney Griner (right) with her fiancée, Glory Johnson. (Photo: Brittney Griner/Instagram)

to the Arizona Republic Griner and Johnson, who both had physical injuries, were swiftly arrested and charged with suspicion of assault and disorderly conduct. Early the next morning, Johnson (who plays for the Tulsa Shock) was released from police custody and Griner (who plays for the Phoenix Mercury) was also released.   Continue reading

Nappyheaded-Afrowearing-Angela Davis-Wannabe

Nappyheaded-Afrowearing-Angela Davis-Wannabe!!!!!!

YUP!!! Had that insult loudly hurled at me out on the playground and since I thought he was oooooo soooo cute, it really cut me deep. I was so angry with my Momma for sending me out into the world looking like a Q-tip. Don’t judge me, 6th grade is rough!!! It Clicker 2didn’t get better as I went to high school and almost flunked gym because I did NOT want to get my hair wet and spend all of my lunch blow-drying it and trying to smooth it out with my butane curling iron (that would NEVER get hot enough). Oh stop looking like you didn’t have the butane clicker.

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GFQ: Are you More Beautiful Than You Think?

ImagesLooking over my life and the lives of family, friends and others I’ve worked with in PLM (now My Tattered Brim) low self-esteem is a an ugly, choking common thread that is in the root of many unwise decisions. Who am I kidding flat out bad decisions and bad choices. Continue reading

New Study Shows How the Pressure to Be ‘Strong’ Can Leave Black Women Denying, Ignoring Their Own Struggles with Depression

Reposting from: http://atlantablackstar.com/2015/04/09/new-study-shows-pressure-strong-can-leave-black-women-denying-ignoring-struggles-depression/


depression-300x180Black women are far less likely to struggle with depression than their white counterparts.

That’s the inaccurate message several headlines implied when a new study found that Black women were less likely to report suffering from depression than white women.

Those headlines, however, can be extremely misleading by omitting one simple but extremely important word: Report.

The study, which was recently published in JAMA Psychiatry, utilized findings from a massive survey where women were asked to report whether or not they battled with depression at some point in their lives.

Researchers talked to more than 1,400 Black women and roughly 340 white women.

With such a significantly greater amount of Black participants, one might be quick to think that the Black women reporting struggles with depression would outnumber their white counterparts.

Even with more than 1,000 extra Black female participants, the national survey found that only 10 percent of Black women reported dealing with depression or any other mental health disorder at some point in their lives.

More than 20 percent of white women said they dealt with at least one mental health disorder.

When specifically focusing on depression, Black women still represented a miniscule part of the population that admitted to dealing with the disorder.

While nearly 10 percent of the white participants admitted to battling depression within the last year, 5.5 percent of Black women reported the same.

Another 22 percent of white women admitted to dealing with any kind of mood disorder at some point in their life. Only 14 percent of Black women reported so.

So does this mean Black women are happier, more carefree individuals? Is this an implication that these women are just as strong as society has always proclaimed them to be and that despite facing life changing obstacles and unique challenges, they are nearly invincible when it comes to emotional distress?

Not at all.

Black women are a population that has to fight battles against both sexism and racism, delivering a left hook and an uppercut to their fight for equality in a white, male-dominated world.

That type of stress makes it very easy to slip into the grips of depression, but the stigma about depression and other mental disorders in the Black community discourages many Black people from seeking help for such conditions or even realizing they have a problem.

The Black community boasts a lineage of incredibly strong and resilient ancestors.

It’s a history to be proud of but also a past that is used against Black people who are feeling suffocated by the modern day struggles of racism, discrimination and every day life.

Dr. Monica Coleman, a Black professor and author who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, once explained that just the idea of going to therapy is taboo in the Black community.

“Seeing a therapist is generally seen as a sign of weakness or a lack of faith,” Dr. Coleman explained during an interview on PBS. “There is still an active mythos of the ‘strong Black woman,’ who is supposed to be strong and present and capable for everyone in her family—and neglects her own needs.”

Dr. Coleman revealed that during one of her own depressive episodes, a friend told her that, “[Black people] are the descendants of those who survived the Middle Passage and slavery. Whatever you’re going through cannot be that bad.”

48a7iStock_000011423371XSmall_depressed_womanIt’s a message that Dr. Coleman said upset her and angered her even more.

“No, depression isn’t human trafficking, genocide or slavery, but it is real death-threatening pain to me,” she added. “…That comment just made me feel small and selfish and far worse than before. It made me wish I had never said anything at all.”

That’s the unfortunate reality that many Black people, especially Black women, face.

It has become so normal for some Black women to subject themselves to limitless sacrifices, emotional stress and excessive burdens that they often don’t even realize when they have crossed the line into depression.

So whether it’s caused by undeserved shame or a lack of realization, Black women are indeed far less likely to report struggling with depression.

They are far less likely to deem what has been presented to them as the daily life and responsibilities of the “strong Black woman” as depression.

They will rarely open up to find comfort in others when they have been taught to always be the source of comfort themselves.

Black women may not report that they are depressed or even seek any help or advice.

This does not mean, however, that they are any less likely to be in the midst of a grueling battle with depression or any other disorder.

It’s None of Your Business!!

image_2146hoever the marketing genius was that coined the phrase ‘whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’ had to be a relative and that phrase is not original. It is a variation of a mantra that was taught in my family for generations. When I was growing up I learned that my business & my family’s business…was nobody’s business. What goes on in this house—stays in this house. I embraced that rule and carried it with me. It was my protection from showing any sign of weakness, vulnerability and judgement. Whenever I felt like I was tempted to tell my business, I would drive myself crazy imagining 150 variations of what could happen and would keep my mouth shut.

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….if its abuse….why do they stay??!

Leaving shadowIf it’s abuse…..why do they stay?? IF it is…..

How many times have you heard this question??  I’ve heard people say, “that’s a shame….why do/did you stay in an abusive relationship?” or “Why doesn’t she just leave?”  Sometimes the question is meant as an honest inquiry.  However, often it is spoken with an undercurrent of hostility or disbelief that things must not be as bad as they seem. This attitude sends a  message to anyone who stays in abusive relationships are somehow to blame for their abuse. Continue reading

Victim of Domestic Violence??? How Did I Get Here?

Never!! Never!! NEVER!!!

I NEVER thought I would see the day when I was in a domestic violence situation. I am smarter than that. I know whatDomestic-violence-counseling-in-ann-arbor domestic violence is….I’ve seen it in my childhood and vowed it would never happen to me. No man will ever do to me, the things that I’ve seen my Mother endure. Never. Continue reading

What is my Motivation??

Pencil and paper

A new day is like a clean piece of paper!

To wake up in the morning is a blessing.  When I first wake-up, open my eyes, say my prayers, stretch and turn on the news, I am ready to make my mark on the world!! Raawwwwwrrr!!!! The new day is as a fresh sheet of paper waiting for more of my life to be written on it. My actions, activities, interactions, goals met,  goals set and even goals dismissed. It’s a chance to make a change, move a stumbling block, press forward towards a goal….they sky is the limit and the options are limitless on this fresh new day. Continue reading

Free your Mind

I’ve been so busy holding on to all things that I have bogged myself down. I can’t do much to help others until I allowevery-woman myself permission to feel what I was feeling and address these feelings. As many of us have been taught, we are every woman. We never let them see us sweat…..I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan. But one thing I couldn’t do, was deal with my feelings. Continue reading

Be a Compliment Not a Complication

shutterstock_108457547-350x233Listening  to the radio in my car I heard Steve Harvey share the best quote. Ok, well one of the best (you know me…tomorrow may be a better one that will be the best). He shared from another listener “Be a compliment not a complication. Surround yourself with people who will compliment your life, not complicate it.”  That made me think…..in my relationships under the brims of the many hats that I wear as a mother, sister, girlfriend, cousin, daughter, friend, co-worker (to name a few) which column would I be put in — a compliment or a complication?  What do I bring to the table to compliment these relationships or are my intelligence, outgoing personality, charm & wit really complicating shenanigans?

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