Not a week that goes by that I don’t remind my son to be kind to his sister and play with her. When he looks at her, he sees an annoying two-year-old girl who steals his toys and 
ruins all his fun. For him, she is simply too hard to love. While few of us can relate to the irritation of dealing with a two-year-old sister, many of us can relate to the experience of living with a difficult family member. Continue reading
Tag Archive | truth
Here’s why they Never Replied to your Job Application
The search has been going on for what feels like eons and you finally have found a role that seems like the perfect fit! You grab your resume writing tip sheet and get busy. You’ve filled out an application, tweaked your resume and cover letter. You checked your masterpieces twice, and officially submitted them all for the job that was made for you. However, there could still be an error that could cost you the job lurking on the application, between the superlatives of your resume, cover letter, or the casual email inquiring about the position. Wondering what, exactly, these errors are and where they pop up in the application process?
Here a few of the most common mistakes:
9 Seconds! Make a call – Save a Life
There was very little conversation being had in church about Domestic Violence. We talked about dating, marriage, tithing, stewardship and spiritual gifts. Pause –if you read the pervious 2 sentences at a normal pace, that was about 9 seconds. As I was saying…There was a ministry for everything from the church van to the community concerns (Candle Night out) but no one was talking about the black eye the Sunday School teacher often had. (9seconds). We were told ‘you are fearfully and wonderfully made’ but our young men and women weren’t reaffirmed in their self esteem in our Sunday School or Youth Group to know what that means. (9 seconds) We sang Jesus loves me, but when it came to it – did we know how that love had different meanings in each home? (9 seconds). Domestic violence comes in many forms (physical, emotional, sexual, financial, elder abuse) and over 10 years ago a 501c3 (9 seconds) organization-Preciouslyfe was formed to boldly have a faith based conversation about it. (9 seconds) Preciouslyfe (Now My Tattered Brim) continues to work, speak, encourage and pray for change, education and awareness of abuse. (9 seconds)
Be aware and have the conversations. The first National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, released on December 14, 2011, reveals the alarming magnitude of domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking and dating violence in America. In the time it took to read the first paragraph of this post- according the US Justice Department – about 7 people were victims of domestic violence. Do the math. 7 people a minute. 60 minutes. 420 victims an hour.
Among states, Pennsylvania tied for 15th place for women, and ranked 25th place for men, in the lifetime prevalence of rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner. This is why we need your help.
Forgiveness is not a Fluffy Cloud
There was a time that I thought some things were absolutely unforgivable. There was an imaginary scale in my head that weighed the offense and eked out the level of forgiveness 
that it was worthy of. I justified my right to own the hatred that I felt for my abusive ex-boyfriend. He had taken enough so I was not willing to give him any more of me, including my forgiveness. My angry mind rationalized that forgiveness would send a message that his actions were OK, even when my reality mind knows that notion isn’t true.
What I have come to grips with is that forgiveness is not an endorsement nor is it a hug wrapped in rainbows, fluffy clouds and harp music. Forgiveness is not a warm fuzzy feeling that puts you in the mindset of running through a field of flowers, smiling with the sun beaming as if you were singing about the hills being alive in the Sound of Music. In spite of how it feels, forgiveness is a choice.
I have heard it said that forgiveness is setting someone free and freedom is not what I wanted for this person. The truth of the matter is that the real prisoner was me. I was holding myself captive. I stayed bound in my anger where I was insulated from being in any situation where I could be hurt in anyway. I’ve become 
hypersensitive, acutely aware and ready to protect my children and me from the slightest external infraction. When looking at life through the lens of this seething anger, you see threats everywhere. A person in a store line accidentally stepping on my daughters foot required quick action to protect her when it was just an accident.
For years I was full of hatred and rage for not only my abuser but also memories of my mothers. I vowed to break the cycle and never have my children, sisters or brothers, nieces or nephews be victims of abuse. Un-forgiveness held me prisoner. The person that I have wished a house to fall on kept on living his life, unaware and probably apathetic to the depth of my hurt, anger and bitterness. To truly be an example, I’ve learned that I need to follow the ultimate example. God himself asks us to forgive those who have wronged us. (Colossians 3:13) Nowhere did I read it was an easy thing to do. As I’ve 
committed to the hard work of forgiveness, releasing my abuser and the dark, ugly pit of anger has made room for the beautiful things like joy, peace, love and gratitude. While forgiveness isn’t always easy it is worth the effort as I reclaim my freedom Under my Tattered Brim.
The Big Reveal!!
Walking on the Boardwalk at the shore….and came across this gem. Go ahead and look at it again…I’ll wait. Did you peep (as my kids would say)? The irony got my attention and made me stop to snap a picture. It wasn’t the lovely red and blue letters covering every inch of space on the banner screaming it’s message, nor was it the oh-so-pristine & ornate security gate that made me share this with you all (you’re welcome). As I giggled and sent it to my fellow sarcastic/ironic/blooper loving friends (Heeyy Opod, PJ and TeeDubb) I thought of an expression that would make the perfect caption for this picture if this was the picture of a person. ‘When people show you who they are, believe them’ – The cautionary advice given by the great Dr. Maya Angelou in these nine simple words carry an often ignored wisdom. Look at the picture again. Clearly the gate is down but we know without even witnessing it, some genius walked up, read the sign, saw the gate down & lights off and still looked for another door on the side or out back to go inside, after all it’s NEVER CLOSED!!.
Under Her Brim 