Question: Can I still e-file after April 15th?
Answer: The biggest misconception with filing taxes is that you only have until the April 15 deadline to file them. In fact, e-filing for tax year 2014 returns will be available through October 15, 2015. After that, the IRS shuts down e-filing to get ready for the next tax year, and you will need to file a regular paper return.
As the First Lady you get called on to attend meetings. There is the meeting of the Women’s Ministry at your church, 
Ministers and Pastors Wives Meetings, District Women’s Meetings, State Women’s Ministry meetings….you get the point. If there is the word WOMEN in any ministry meeting title, there is a good chance that you are invited, expected or guilt-ed into attending.
Now don’t get me wrong, there have been some meetings that set a purpose, met it and I walked away blessed to have been there. But there have been some where I sat at a table, pen in hand and envisioned what their facial expressions would be as I imagine myself jumping on the table and screaming “WHY ARE WE HERE AND WHAT DOES THE SHINGLES HAVE TO DO WITH IT???”
I went to one of these meetings in the winter and because of how far it was my sister came along with me. It was cold outside and early on a Saturday so I jumped up, made sure the house was in order – who are we kidding, it was Saturday and there were four kids to ask ‘didjaeet (did you eat)??’ I put on my jeans, some knee boots, a decent sweater while grabbing my coffee saying goodbye and going out the door. I met-up with my dear sister (who has always been my roadie, no matter where I went once I got a drivers license, she would jump in the car and go with me to go to the moon) and we jumped on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.
When we got to the church we descended down the stairs to join those already around the table and to my horror….many of the women were in their ‘Sunday go meeting’ outfits. Here’s me…jeans, boots and a leather jacket while these seasoned sisters were in full ‘church wear’ at 10 o’clock in the morning….a Saturday morning.
At first I was mortified in a quiet way. You KNOW there were icy looks, not loving sisters but judgmental biddies (that’s what I saw as they assessed my Saturday attire) but as I sat there I thought….they don’t know me! Then I started wondering ‘why am I here’ I giggled as I imagined them calling each other asking “did you see what she had on?!” That’s when I knew….my First Lady hat didn’t fit. Maybe it wasn’t that the hat didn’t fit, maybe I didn’t fit the mold that people had placed on the hat. Whatever!! I’m here now, dragged my sister out in the cold, paid tolls on the Pennsylvania turnpike and got up early on a Saturday to be here so I participated in the meeting, took my ill-fitting Hat (in their eyes of course) and went home. That was one meeting that I never attended again but I still laugh at the looks peering at me from under the First Lady’s Brims.
YUP!!! Had that insult loudly hurled at me out on the playground and since I thought he was oooooo soooo cute, it really cut me deep. I was so angry with my Momma for sending me out into the world looking like a Q-tip. Don’t judge me, 6th grade is rough!!! It 
didn’t get better as I went to high school and almost flunked gym because I did NOT want to get my hair wet and spend all of my lunch blow-drying it and trying to smooth it out with my butane curling iron (that would NEVER get hot enough). Oh stop looking like you didn’t have the butane clicker.
Looking over my life and the lives of family, friends and others I’ve worked with in PLM (now My Tattered Brim) low self-esteem is a an ugly, choking common thread that is in the root of many unwise decisions. Who am I kidding flat out bad decisions and bad choices. Continue reading
Reposting from: http://atlantablackstar.com/2015/04/09/new-study-shows-pressure-strong-can-leave-black-women-denying-ignoring-struggles-depression/
Black women are far less likely to struggle with depression than their white counterparts.
That’s the inaccurate message several headlines implied when a new study found that Black women were less likely to report suffering from depression than white women.
Those headlines, however, can be extremely misleading by omitting one simple but extremely important word: Report.
The study, which was recently published in JAMA Psychiatry, utilized findings from a massive survey where women were asked to report whether or not they battled with depression at some point in their lives.
Researchers talked to more than 1,400 Black women and roughly 340 white women.
With such a significantly greater amount of Black participants, one might be quick to think that the Black women reporting struggles with depression would outnumber their white counterparts.
Even with more than 1,000 extra Black female participants, the national survey found that only 10 percent of Black women reported dealing with depression or any other mental health disorder at some point in their lives.
More than 20 percent of white women said they dealt with at least one mental health disorder.
When specifically focusing on depression, Black women still represented a miniscule part of the population that admitted to dealing with the disorder.
While nearly 10 percent of the white participants admitted to battling depression within the last year, 5.5 percent of Black women reported the same.
Another 22 percent of white women admitted to dealing with any kind of mood disorder at some point in their life. Only 14 percent of Black women reported so.
So does this mean Black women are happier, more carefree individuals? Is this an implication that these women are just as strong as society has always proclaimed them to be and that despite facing life changing obstacles and unique challenges, they are nearly invincible when it comes to emotional distress?
Not at all.
Black women are a population that has to fight battles against both sexism and racism, delivering a left hook and an uppercut to their fight for equality in a white, male-dominated world.
That type of stress makes it very easy to slip into the grips of depression, but the stigma about depression and other mental disorders in the Black community discourages many Black people from seeking help for such conditions or even realizing they have a problem.
The Black community boasts a lineage of incredibly strong and resilient ancestors.
It’s a history to be proud of but also a past that is used against Black people who are feeling suffocated by the modern day struggles of racism, discrimination and every day life.
Dr. Monica Coleman, a Black professor and author who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, once explained that just the idea of going to therapy is taboo in the Black community.
“Seeing a therapist is generally seen as a sign of weakness or a lack of faith,” Dr. Coleman explained during an interview on PBS. “There is still an active mythos of the ‘strong Black woman,’ who is supposed to be strong and present and capable for everyone in her family—and neglects her own needs.”
Dr. Coleman revealed that during one of her own depressive episodes, a friend told her that, “[Black people] are the descendants of those who survived the Middle Passage and slavery. Whatever you’re going through cannot be that bad.”
It’s a message that Dr. Coleman said upset her and angered her even more.
“No, depression isn’t human trafficking, genocide or slavery, but it is real death-threatening pain to me,” she added. “…That comment just made me feel small and selfish and far worse than before. It made me wish I had never said anything at all.”
That’s the unfortunate reality that many Black people, especially Black women, face.
It has become so normal for some Black women to subject themselves to limitless sacrifices, emotional stress and excessive burdens that they often don’t even realize when they have crossed the line into depression.
So whether it’s caused by undeserved shame or a lack of realization, Black women are indeed far less likely to report struggling with depression.
They are far less likely to deem what has been presented to them as the daily life and responsibilities of the “strong Black woman” as depression.
They will rarely open up to find comfort in others when they have been taught to always be the source of comfort themselves.
Black women may not report that they are depressed or even seek any help or advice.
This does not mean, however, that they are any less likely to be in the midst of a grueling battle with depression or any other disorder.
“C’mon, we’re going to be late” I heard blast through the house. “I’m COMING!!!!” (I screamed back). Good Grief! It’s easy for you to be on time. After I deal with getting the kids ready, can I have a moment to slip on some lip gloss for goodness sake. – I gotta get these kids together without starting a third world war or it will be a looonnngggg service…..for me in the pew.
It was the Full Gospel Baptist Church Fellowship District meeting (or something like that) being held at a church in Chester, Philly, NJ….or somewhere that 
required an extended period of time with antsy kids in the car. Sunday School and Morning service at our church…run home, get some food together, grab a bite to eat, change the pants that a stain somehow jumped on my son, replace the missing barrettes and re-braid my daughters hair, clean up and back on the road again to get there on time.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the Lord and worship is how I express my love; however, the Lord knows that I am exhausted every Sunday trying to be a worshiper and an attentive mother. I don’t want my children to disrupt the service or interrupt another worship so I sit on pins-and-needles….hoovering, watching, waiting to deal with a fidgety kid, a bathroom run, the loud “STOP IT!!’ when one touches another all while looking poised and together, follow the service and actually hearing a Word….I am WORN OUT. Continue reading
hoever the marketing genius was that coined the phrase ‘whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’ had to be a relative and that phrase is not original. It is a variation of a mantra that was taught in my family for generations. When I was growing up I learned that my business & my family’s business…was nobody’s business. What goes on in this house—stays in this house. I embraced that rule and carried it with me. It was my protection from showing any sign of weakness, vulnerability and judgement. Whenever I felt like I was tempted to tell my business, I would drive myself crazy imagining 150 variations of what could happen and would keep my mouth shut.
A friend shared this meme with me and I could not contain my laughter. As a former ‘first lady’ there is the ever present ‘church’ hat that seems to be an unspoken requirement of the wardrobe. The truth is, I love the hats (shoes, handbags….etc.) and would joke that I wanted a hat so big that it had to be assembled by a team of hat builders when I got to my destination.
Then I looked at the caption and got all deep on this Friday afternoon. Am I am so busy looking at what appears to be a big blessing for the other person that I can’t focus on, identify or recognize my own blessings, opportunities and gifts?
What if the perceived beautiful abundant blessing and this hat is really a burden? It may be heavy giving her neck cramps and back spasms. You know it’s hot under there and transporting that thing must be a pain.
No thanks, she can keep it, I’ll focus on my own blessings, opportunities and gifts as I boldly, unapologetically and confidently rejoice in them as I look at the world from under my brim.
If it’s abuse…..why do they stay?? IF it is…..How many times have you heard this question?? I’ve heard people say, “that’s a shame….why do/did you stay in an abusive relationship?” or “Why doesn’t she just leave?” Sometimes the question is meant as an honest inquiry. However, often it is spoken with an undercurrent of hostility or disbelief that things must not be as bad as they seem. This attitude sends a message to anyone who stays in abusive relationships are somehow to blame for their abuse. Continue reading
I NEVER thought I would see the day when I was in a domestic violence situation. I am smarter than that. I know what
domestic violence is….I’ve seen it in my childhood and vowed it would never happen to me. No man will ever do to me, the things that I’ve seen my Mother endure. Never. Continue reading
Under Her Brim 