Tag Archive | family

Bump in the road? KEEP GOING!

There are things that happen that we can’t explain but when we look back, we recognize bumpthat had that bump not been on the road, the path we would have chosen could have lead us to an unfavorable outcome. Call it God’s Divine Order, coincidence or even happenstance….but don’t call it an accident. Continue reading

Get your Plow

“When I grow up I wanna be just like her” the little girl says. “I’m going to be just like him when I grow up” says the little boy. “Man I wish I had his/her (pick one that YOU have said)Dress-Up11: Continue reading

3 Prayers For A Loved One Battling Addiction

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Turn to God in prayer to support a friend or family member trapped in an unhealthy lifestyle.

My brother is an alcoholic. For years, this reality has shattered my world. The brother who walked to school with me, played Battleship with me and pretended to be famous singers with me has become someone I often fear. Continue reading

I’m Sorry my Blessings Offend you

BlessingsToday a friend and I were talking about how we (people) limit ourselves in living how we want, doing what we want and being what we want because we don’t want to offend others. I’m sorry my blessing offends you….

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Fear is not Rational

10-motivational-quotes-kick-start-large-msg-134307588541My sister and I (like many others) are very afraid of needles….no don’t say ‘me too’ and nod your head in agreement unless you have tipped out of the doctors office and went AWOL when you found out there was blood to be drawn or a shot to be given. By the way, it is my experience that when you do tip out,  you only can escape once because from that point forward your doctor makes sure you don’t get put in that examination room anymore.

Anyway, we know that the blood work is necessary and in a recent conversation she said something that stuck – fear is not rational (wouldn’t she be surprised to know that I listen…LOL).

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New Study Shows How the Pressure to Be ‘Strong’ Can Leave Black Women Denying, Ignoring Their Own Struggles with Depression

Reposting from: http://atlantablackstar.com/2015/04/09/new-study-shows-pressure-strong-can-leave-black-women-denying-ignoring-struggles-depression/


depression-300x180Black women are far less likely to struggle with depression than their white counterparts.

That’s the inaccurate message several headlines implied when a new study found that Black women were less likely to report suffering from depression than white women.

Those headlines, however, can be extremely misleading by omitting one simple but extremely important word: Report.

The study, which was recently published in JAMA Psychiatry, utilized findings from a massive survey where women were asked to report whether or not they battled with depression at some point in their lives.

Researchers talked to more than 1,400 Black women and roughly 340 white women.

With such a significantly greater amount of Black participants, one might be quick to think that the Black women reporting struggles with depression would outnumber their white counterparts.

Even with more than 1,000 extra Black female participants, the national survey found that only 10 percent of Black women reported dealing with depression or any other mental health disorder at some point in their lives.

More than 20 percent of white women said they dealt with at least one mental health disorder.

When specifically focusing on depression, Black women still represented a miniscule part of the population that admitted to dealing with the disorder.

While nearly 10 percent of the white participants admitted to battling depression within the last year, 5.5 percent of Black women reported the same.

Another 22 percent of white women admitted to dealing with any kind of mood disorder at some point in their life. Only 14 percent of Black women reported so.

So does this mean Black women are happier, more carefree individuals? Is this an implication that these women are just as strong as society has always proclaimed them to be and that despite facing life changing obstacles and unique challenges, they are nearly invincible when it comes to emotional distress?

Not at all.

Black women are a population that has to fight battles against both sexism and racism, delivering a left hook and an uppercut to their fight for equality in a white, male-dominated world.

That type of stress makes it very easy to slip into the grips of depression, but the stigma about depression and other mental disorders in the Black community discourages many Black people from seeking help for such conditions or even realizing they have a problem.

The Black community boasts a lineage of incredibly strong and resilient ancestors.

It’s a history to be proud of but also a past that is used against Black people who are feeling suffocated by the modern day struggles of racism, discrimination and every day life.

Dr. Monica Coleman, a Black professor and author who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, once explained that just the idea of going to therapy is taboo in the Black community.

“Seeing a therapist is generally seen as a sign of weakness or a lack of faith,” Dr. Coleman explained during an interview on PBS. “There is still an active mythos of the ‘strong Black woman,’ who is supposed to be strong and present and capable for everyone in her family—and neglects her own needs.”

Dr. Coleman revealed that during one of her own depressive episodes, a friend told her that, “[Black people] are the descendants of those who survived the Middle Passage and slavery. Whatever you’re going through cannot be that bad.”

48a7iStock_000011423371XSmall_depressed_womanIt’s a message that Dr. Coleman said upset her and angered her even more.

“No, depression isn’t human trafficking, genocide or slavery, but it is real death-threatening pain to me,” she added. “…That comment just made me feel small and selfish and far worse than before. It made me wish I had never said anything at all.”

That’s the unfortunate reality that many Black people, especially Black women, face.

It has become so normal for some Black women to subject themselves to limitless sacrifices, emotional stress and excessive burdens that they often don’t even realize when they have crossed the line into depression.

So whether it’s caused by undeserved shame or a lack of realization, Black women are indeed far less likely to report struggling with depression.

They are far less likely to deem what has been presented to them as the daily life and responsibilities of the “strong Black woman” as depression.

They will rarely open up to find comfort in others when they have been taught to always be the source of comfort themselves.

Black women may not report that they are depressed or even seek any help or advice.

This does not mean, however, that they are any less likely to be in the midst of a grueling battle with depression or any other disorder.

What is my Motivation??

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A new day is like a clean piece of paper!

To wake up in the morning is a blessing.  When I first wake-up, open my eyes, say my prayers, stretch and turn on the news, I am ready to make my mark on the world!! Raawwwwwrrr!!!! The new day is as a fresh sheet of paper waiting for more of my life to be written on it. My actions, activities, interactions, goals met,  goals set and even goals dismissed. It’s a chance to make a change, move a stumbling block, press forward towards a goal….they sky is the limit and the options are limitless on this fresh new day. Continue reading

The joy the Holiday brings….

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Christmas is….Family, Friends, Hope, Joy, Memories, Peace and Love.

Christmas is….Family, Friends, Hope, Joy, Memories, Peace and Love.

…or the emotional chaos.

The holiday season is one of the few times that brings out the best & worst in people simultaneously. The news is full of negativity, there are protests, hunger, abuse….but for one season of time we long to have ‘peace on earth and goodwill towards men’. This is the one time of year that we would hope to be around the love of friends….but most of all the love of Family.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have a huge family that I really don’t know. They hail from both my Mother’s and Father’s sides of the family. I am even blessed to have an extended family my step-mom’s side that has embraced me with loving arms.  Of all the love, the family that I barely know used to bother me, would even create some emotional chaos. Watching he families on TV get together for holidays, sharing in the special events of one another’s lives, coming together in rough time….it made me see family the way I wanted it to be.  But that’s television…. Continue reading

Do You Feel Guilty as a Working Mom? Scripture provides encouragement as you work and raise a family

Do You Feel Guilty as a Working Mom?

 Source: Blog | American Bible Society News

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My alarm rings and I get out of bed, grab both kids and head downstairs for breakfast (juice and a cereal bar for myself). After I feed the kids, I turn the TV on, hoping 20 minutes of cartoons will give me enough time to shower and get dressed.

working-motherIt doesn’t. I have to mediate an argument between my 3-year-old son and my 13-month-old daughter, get them dressed, in the car, (big sigh!) and off to school. Both kids settle in their classrooms, and I even manage to bring the diapers, wipes and sunscreen permission slip!

Now off to work. I arrive at my cubicle in time to send out an email with the agenda and PowerPoint presentation for tomorrow’s meeting. And it’s only 9:47 am!

If this sounds like a typical morning to you, then you probably have the dual responsibility of maintaining a busy career while raising children. Yes, you’re a working mom.

And for whatever reason–whether you need the income or you love what you do—raising a family and having a career is not easy. On any given day, you may feel frustrated, exhausted, stressed.

One emotion I feel is GUILT.

Even after months of doing the get-the-kids-off-to-school-then-go-to-work routine, I continually question myself: Am I making the right choice? Will my kids be OK? Am I spending too much time away from them? Will they recognize me when I pick them up?

After several melt downs and many tears in the ladies’ room, I turn to the Bible. The words of Isaiah 40:11 strike me: He carries the lambs in his arms while gently leading the mother sheep.”Whoa! This is the comfort I need–to know that he, the Great I Am, leads me today and every day. As I consider this verse, other thoughts come to mind:

He loves me.
He loves my children.
He’s helping me.
He’s guiding our futures.
He’s GENTLE with me as I work my way through this phase of life.

So whenever you’re feeling guilty about working, remember this: You may never master the art of balancing career while raising children, but you have a God who fills in the gaps. He will hold your hand and gently lead you through each day.

As for your children, commit them into his hands, open the Bible and claim these promises:

  1. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
    Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
  2.   “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.”
    John: 10:27-28 (NIV)
  3. “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved – you and your household.”
    Acts 16:31 (NIV)
  4. “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.”
    Isaiah 54:13 (NIV)

NenaPodburyNena Podbury is a project associate at American Bible Society. Originally from the Bronx, she served in children’s ministry for 12 years doing Sidewalk Sunday School. She has co-authored children’s curriculum called “Transformation Station” and is a contributing author to Reach Up Magazine which seeks to empower and enrich today’s inner city woman. Nena is married with two children, Noah and Emilia.